Stupid!

Sometimes Stupid isn't what you think it is. Sometimes its nothing at all. Sometimes its someone or something...or sometimes its nothing. Somtimes its a feeling or sometimes its what fills the void where feeling should be.

So here I sit stupid...wondering where you are. Wondering where I've sent you to. Some stupid place. Sometimes I remember the the stupid things we did and the stupid way you made me feel and I wonder why I was so stupid to send it all away. Or was it stupid of me to think it would ever be. Sometims I just wish the stupid world would give someone a stupid chance. Maybe I just wish I could give this stupid world a chance.

Maybe, I just wish this world wasn't so stupid.

I strongly believe that this stupid world let me be happy for the first time in a long tome to show me how crazy-stupid I could be. It drew the happiness out to expose the stupidness...and prevailed...and I'm so stupid I let it overcome me...but I can only be so stupid for so long.

At some point you have to shut up and take back your stupid life.

Is there a chance to say, "Hey, this was all stupid...let's do it another way"? Well let's do it another way.

Sleep is stupid. Why does sleep come for me at its whim? Why can't I control sleep? Sleep is stupid too! Can't I control all things stupid? Does stupid control me? Or does stupid just trick me? Stupid control! Stupid Sleep! Stupid Dreams! Stupid Stupid!

And your the only one that ever made me feel this way...so stupid...what do you have?

What do you have?

I know....but is it so stupid? Am I just stupid? And when did Stupid start trying to be a good thing?

Are there stupid heroes?

Are there stupid saints?

Am I so stupid?

Do I really feel this stupid way about you? Will you ever feel that stupid way about me? Did you ever? Will you again?

If you do...and if I do...will this stupid world ever give us a chance? Is there a chance? Is it a stupid chance or a stupid chance?

Do I want a chance?

Do you?

Or is this all just really stupid?

Stupid heart
Stupid brain
stupid love
stupid sleep
stupid fears
stupid tears
stupid me!

Whose fault it is....

Disclaimer: I have been feeling a little delusional lately

I got measured for my good buddy John’s wedding next month…turns out I’m going to be in the wedding and that I’m even bigger around than I thought I was. Now I’m on fire to go on a diet and really crank up the exercise program, but I can’t…you see then my tux wouldn’t fit and I’d ruin the whole wedding. I’d be standing up there…the pants would fall off…the women would faint…the men would cry…so I just can’t be exercising. Of course I can’t consume more daily than I have of late (as if that is freaking possible) because then the tux would be too small…guess I’m going to have to watch my figure! Therefore its John’s fault that I can’t lose weight!

Or!

I had a conversation with another one of my friend’s recently. We were talking about getting older and more out of shape and stuff…and how everyone seems to be packing it on. Anyway, the conversation turned to eating out, and how it’s a common misconception that you have to eat everything on the plate at a restaurant. His comment was something like, “The restaurants don’t know how much you need to eat, you shouldn’t eat it all” Which goes against the idea of getting your money’s worth, or more importantly your Mother’s demands of cleaning your plate before you can go out to play.

Ah, so we can’t blame it on the restaurant because they can’t know each and every patron, but we can blame it on our Mother! Mother knows best, and mother says clean your plate or you can’t go out and play. Maybe we do blame it on the restaurants for taking advantage of our mother’s philosophy to fatten us all up.

I have to get off subject here for a second…Do any of you guys remember having to wait thirty minutes after you ate to go swimming? I had to do this…I hated it…I love the water and I’d have rather swam than ate. But no, I had to go eat and make sure I cleaned my whole plate and then wait thirty minutes before I got back in the water! Turns out that is just an old wives tale, and kids these days can just eat and go. Bullshit! I feel as though I have been cheated out of days of my life! Days??? Maybe weeks…maybe months! I was cheated!

So anyway, I’m trying to figure out whose fault it is that I’m in this current shape…is it John? Is it my Mother? Is it an evil ploy by Taqueria Jalisco.

Then someone suggested that I may be in this shape due to the amount of beer I drink…Not So Fast. That if I were to quit drinking I’d automatically be in better shape. Well, I believe that you can do anything in moderation…but due to the fact that my Mother always taught me to clean my plate, and that the restaurants put so much food on the plate, I now eat more…and eating more causes me to have to drink more…due to extra weight as well as having stuff in my stomach to absorb the alcohol. We all know that if you don’t eat, you can’t drink as much. So it can’t be the beer’s fault, because even though alcohol is fattening, if it weren’t for the food I wouldn’t drink near as much.

I guess we can point fingers at who we may, but at the bottom line we have to blame it on Mom…who made me wait thirty minutes before I swam (and therefore waited thirty minutes before I could burn calories) and made sure I cleaned my plate (before I could go play and burn more calories).

Of course I jest. I know its not my mother’s fault that I’m fattening up. There is only one man to blame…one man who is over consumptive…one man who seems to be more and more sedentary…one man….yep, you guessed it…its still John’s fault!

Billy Blanks is trying to kill me....

and I'm letting him in the door.

So, thanks to my growing concern over the shape that I'm in...round...I've decided to start eating better, not drinking so much beer, and trying to work out a little bit. I've also started drinking more and more water everyday, but still dont' sleep a whole lot...Rhome, TX was not built in a day.

So all the basic ingredients of weight loss...eat right, drink lots of water, exercise, and get plenty of rest...almost all...plus the desire to slim down; and you have got a man on a mission. So here I go! Time warp, back about 6 months ago, I'm lying in bed and thinking to myself, "Self, you are getting really fat and you need to lose some weight!" It just so happened I'm awake at some point in the night, and there are infomericals on...Billy f'in Blanks...and Billy is Boot Campin' himself and a bunch of women straining to keep smiles on their faces right in to faboulous shape. I mean the pictures don't lie...the results are there. I'm thinking, "this I can do...it's not weights, it's not pilates, this is a big damn man and I can do this."

So I ordered the tapes, they came in a couple of weeks later, and one of the three still has the plastic on it. Anyway, I guess I lost my late night inspiration for a few inches to the waist line, and I left Billy just lying around...I think he started to put on some weight living in this house without working out.

Back to now...So recently I have decided that I've put on way too much weight and I need to work some of this shit off. Turns out sitting around, drinking beer, and strumming guitars does not burn a whole lot of calories...my diet plan didn't work...you won't see me on late night/early morning informercials! I pulled old Billy Blanks out the box, and popped him in the DVD player...and then I sat there and laughed, and laughed some more, and then I just grabbed me a beer and sat on the couch and watched. "There a'int no way I'm going to be caught dead doing that shit and counting Billy!" I just a'int doing it! Another 1/2 inch or so, and I pulled old Billy back out. "I can do this!!!" but no, I just stood in my living room, decked out in my workout clothes, and thinking, "What if someone saw me???"

A few days ago my fat pants quit fitting...that a'int funny. Last night I pulled Billy out..."This is your last chance Billy...don't make me go Chuck Norris on your ass!" Although it took me a few minutes, I started doing what the Billy was a doing...then a few minutes later I started sweating...a few more minutes and I can feel the burn that he's talking about...

For those of you who are sitting there picturing me doing this and laughing, hey man, do a couple of minutes of this tape in my shoes...I bet you're breathing too damn hard to laugh...

Anyway, so I tell my out-of-shape self, "out-of-shape self, you're going to make it at least 30 minutes!" and I did! I might have slowed down a little, or missed a rep or two, but for the most part I did it...and then I quit...at 30 minutes and .2322132 seconds. Walked around a bit, drank a little water, wiped my forehead, you know...post-exercise stuff. Then I got that feeling. You know that feeling after a good workout, or run, etc. where you feel like you can do one more set, or run one more lap...yep I got it...and then it went away...and I stood (slumped) there in my kitchen...wishing I could muster up the strength to lift the glass of water to my face, or atleast find a straw. Yep, Billy Blanks had kicked me square in the you-are-one-out-of-shape-little-butterball button. And so we get to this today...Billy Blanks was trying to kill me. I just finished my second night of half an hour with Billy Blanks...and yep...he definitely wants me in the best shape of my life...or he wants someone to find me lying face first on the living room floor, tied up with my own with Billy Bands. I think I'm going to make it...if you drink you a little Canadian Mist and Water you feel better, and you write a horrible blog. That's what I always say!

Anyway, good night to you all...I'm going to roll (literally, I can't walk) into the living room and watch some Billy Blanks.

hmmm?

Hello Kids,

it's 11:40 and I'm not asleep...this may not seem strange to some of you, but if you knew how little sleep I have really gotten in the last 5 days or so, and how tired I always think I am when I get off work, then you'd know why I'm upset that I'm still awake. Not only am I awake, but I think I just got my 42nd wind.

For my friends and family who read this blog, I don't want you worrying about me...trust me...only 3/4 of what I say is true.

for everyone else...How the hell are you...I promise at least 3/4 of this is true.

So, I haven't been sleeping much...but that happens from time to time. It actually goes from not sleeping much, to not sleeping at all, but that's a whole other story. I was prescribed Ambien for a little while, and I actually do have some of those "sleep-eating" stories that were flooding the news a few weeks ago. I once got up and made a fried egg sandwich (yeah, that doesn't sound good). Not only did I make it, but I ate it, washed the dishes, and then went back to bed. I also had a night where I decided I wanted spaghetti, and somehow the Ambien thought that whole kernel corn would give it a little extra flavor that it hadn't had before...I love that Ambien!

So I hardly ever write without a point, and I'm finding that I can't remember what my point was tonight.

Hmm???? I am a little bit excited about having my first ever CD release party tomorrow night. Its at Riley's Tavern in Hunter, TX http://www.rileystavern.com/ and hoping that it all goes well. I also heard my self singing on the radio earlier...that was cool.

What else??? I have found recently that I have become way more interested in current events, and politics, and economics than I have been in the past. It could be from growing up, or more mature (I really hope not) or maybe I'm just tired of having my head in the sand. I used to read every sports headline in the country, trying to keep up with stats and schedules, as well as who was playing the next night. Here lately I find myself checking more headlines than normal, and always stopping on the ones that have a little more "grown up" content. Of course I take all articles as a grain of salt. Articles are much like surveys or studies, you really have to look who's behind them before you take their findings into too much consideration. Myself, I'm neither Democrat or Republican. I don't much like either party. I'm wondering why it is that the well being of the political party outweighs the well being of the nation. You may say that the two lie hand in hand, but which party are you getting your information from?

So what's happening in politics right now? Well, John Mc Cain threatened to walk off stage at a speech. Now, I will tell you that I have the utmost respect for Senator Mc Cain. He was a POW, and if you have never read or heard what these people went through you should take a long, hard look at it. I don't care if some of you think that he might have embellished his hero status a bit...a person who made it out of a POW camp was not someone who came out of Club Med. But back to the speech thing, Senator John Mc Cain threatened earlier this week to walk off stage after being booed, basically, and I think this is a bunch of crap. People with a conscience, not people like me, may see where this was a delicate situation. If there would have been 200 Michael Wrens in the room, we'd have booed his ass smooth off the stage. Not because I would agree of disagree with the Senator's beliefs, but that I do believe in some small North Texas town beliefs of "you better show up before you bow up". If you don't want to take the heat (that you are paid very well to take) and threaten to walk off the stage, then walk your ass off the stage and see where you public approval poll stands. To me, this gesture was nothing more than a "bob and weave" that came fairly close to "taking a dive".

More politics...kind of....the Homeland Security dude that got busted trying to solicit a minor...Hang Him...let me quote one of my favorite books ever (Lonesome Dove...) "...Shot 'em, now I'm gonna hang 'em, then I'm gonna burn 'em!..." Folks, I've done some bad shit in my life, but nothing like this dude. I'm not saying any more. Damn Sodbusters.I don't know why I talk politics, because I have no agenda. I hate 'em all...they're all crooked. If you think that your representative a'int crooked...well maybe he's not....but give him some time...its the company you keep.

Oh, I did forget the big scandal with the U.S. Capitol police offer and Cynthia McKinney...what the hell? WEAR THE LAPEL PIN! These folks have it pretty damn good...congress folk I'm saying...they're given their official identification, but to make it easier all they have to wear is a damn lapel pin...she's lucky she's not serving down here in Texas...those boys would have tasered her ass! Some really bad guys flew some planes into the World Trade Center and killed a bunch of people...I've not forgotten...if you cared about your constituency...wear your f'ing pin with pride. We want a safer America, even if the whole world is supposed to know who we are no matter what our manner of dress or new hairdo.

I'm just rambling!

I've got more to say, but it'll get way off subject...you guys should come to Riley's tomorrow night...buy a CD....and a shirt...got to http://www.texaswettnex.com/ or http://www.lonestarmusic.com/ or www.myspace.com/thetexaswettnex and find out who we are.
rock on...we'll see you then