F.O.A.D.
NO, I don't do this religiously on Thursday.
Hell, I don't do anything religiously.
But today, oh today...I must tell a group of people to Fuck Off And Die.
The shitholers!
What are shitholers....there the people that turn public bathrooms into shitholes.
My company has about 25 or so employees, and two bathrooms. One strictly for women (well, most of the time) and one unisex bathroom. Hey, I'm from Texas...we know how to treat our women. Anyway, none of the people at my workplace would want to make the bathroom look like a shithole...we work there all day, every day...If you piss on the seat, you may be the next person that has a sit down there...besides that...its retail...and like it or not...every part of that store reflects on our image. I don't want to be known as, Michael Wren - the guy that works down at that place where the bathroom is a shithole!
But everyday I go in there...to sit, or stand, or just wash my hands...and every fucking day someone has left behind a little mention of themselves...or they've missed the urinal and somehow hit the floor and wall. There are shit stains on the seat, where they backed their ass up a little too far...and then the nastiest thing I've ever seen...a big fucking nasty green and brown loogey stuck to the wall opposite the toilet. That means someone was sitting there taking a dump (probably didn't flush) and hocked a sticker right across the room...that's fucking gross...and these people are allowed in public...and I hope they all fuck off and die.
And me and my fellow co-workers, because we care about our image and our sales, we clean this shit...and I do mean shit...we clean it up and hope that no one has seen it. I wish I had a list of all these bastards...I sneak into their houses and shit under their pillows....and then tell them very nicely, "Fuck Off And Die!"
Well, I feel better now...if I can just get my blog back in order...but I've got to go do something else real quick...thanks to my buddy for helping me out...you're the best!
Tags: Foad Thursday,Public Restrooms,
Hell, I don't do anything religiously.
But today, oh today...I must tell a group of people to Fuck Off And Die.
The shitholers!
What are shitholers....there the people that turn public bathrooms into shitholes.
My company has about 25 or so employees, and two bathrooms. One strictly for women (well, most of the time) and one unisex bathroom. Hey, I'm from Texas...we know how to treat our women. Anyway, none of the people at my workplace would want to make the bathroom look like a shithole...we work there all day, every day...If you piss on the seat, you may be the next person that has a sit down there...besides that...its retail...and like it or not...every part of that store reflects on our image. I don't want to be known as, Michael Wren - the guy that works down at that place where the bathroom is a shithole!
But everyday I go in there...to sit, or stand, or just wash my hands...and every fucking day someone has left behind a little mention of themselves...or they've missed the urinal and somehow hit the floor and wall. There are shit stains on the seat, where they backed their ass up a little too far...and then the nastiest thing I've ever seen...a big fucking nasty green and brown loogey stuck to the wall opposite the toilet. That means someone was sitting there taking a dump (probably didn't flush) and hocked a sticker right across the room...that's fucking gross...and these people are allowed in public...and I hope they all fuck off and die.
And me and my fellow co-workers, because we care about our image and our sales, we clean this shit...and I do mean shit...we clean it up and hope that no one has seen it. I wish I had a list of all these bastards...I sneak into their houses and shit under their pillows....and then tell them very nicely, "Fuck Off And Die!"
Well, I feel better now...if I can just get my blog back in order...but I've got to go do something else real quick...thanks to my buddy for helping me out...you're the best!
Tags: Foad Thursday,Public Restrooms,
posted by Michael Wren at 8:23 PM
7 Comments:
I'm gonna have to start doing
Fuck Off And Die Thursdays on my blog!
HAHAhaha
I have gross people where I work too
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE
ps.
BotB VOTE!!
Good rant. I just don't get people that pig out bathrooms. Like they might have to use it again...why the fuck would u do that? Animals.
OH.MY.GAWD. I read as far as I could & when I got to the green loogey, uh, I couldn't read anymore. I have HORRIBLE images now of stuff I've seen in public bathrooms. While I know it's less common in women's restrooms, it still happens & you wouldn't BELIEVE whas's left behind. Dirty filthy pigs. Right on, Michael!
Hey. Where are you??
I remember needing to take my son to the washroom near where my parents live on the west coast of Canada. We walked into the public washroom and someone had dumped their entire load BESIDE the toilet. How big does your ass have to be to actually miss the toilet? Do people have assholes that point out towards their hip? Did the shit somehow bounce out of the bowl? How do you explain such deliberate behavior to a 3 year old?
I ended up letting my son pee in a bush outside of the bathroom because we couldn't stand the smell or the flies inside. So for anyone who thought the bushes outside the public washrooms smelled like piss, they do.
Holy shit! That is the funniest fucking thing I have read all day!
I am gonna mark you and look you up again!
Awesome rant!
I would put up a sign in the bathroom teling the nasty fucks that there will be daily random inspections following bathroom usage.
Michael: Your funny blog leaves me thinking... remember that one drummer we tried out? First he spit in my sink to clear his throat and tell me what a cool guy I was. Later, he pisses off my front porch while looking up the sky. "Man, you can see all the stars out here!" he exclaims, shaking the remainder that probably missed the ground and his shoes only to stain my deck.
Well, that's what your blog left me thinking.
phillip
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