One of My Kids Doesn't Like Me!
Well, I thought about making this sound like I already have kids and stuff (hell, I might) but I just can't get into it.
For those of you who have read my earlier post, or those who need to catch up I was invaded by a pregnant cat and now find myself raising her illegitimate children.
Okay, I've never been a cat lover and all of the sudden I have three. No big deal...I'm a cat man now. I had a ferret once, but he drank too much and ended up drinking himself to death. That was the coolest ferret, and I miss his antics, but I'd never have another one. So now all of the sudden I like MY CATS not all cats, and I'm taking care of them.
This little bastards were born in a nasty box on the third shelf of my broke down shed in the back yard. They were lucky I even found them, and even luckier that I eventually moved them in the house. I've given them shelter from all the elements, and I've kept them and their mother fed for months. I've changed litter boxes and bought toys and scratchy thingies and I can't believe I'm telling you all this.
See, I'm having a problem because the little girl cat doesn't like me anymore. She doesn't like me to hold her, talk to her, be in the same room with her...I thought that wouldn't happen until at least puberty. The little boy cat loves me! He's laying in my lap right now...purring...while asleep...but she is somewhere hiding in the darkness.
She'll come bite me when I'm sleeping...attack me when I'm not looking...but affection? None!!!
I tried to have a talk with her earlier. I picked her up and asked her "Why don't you like me anymore?" "What have I done that's so wrong?" "Haven't I always tried to give you everything you've ever needed?"
I even went as far as saying, "you're lucky you're even alive!" "I pulled you out of that nasty box...I gave you a home...a warm place to stay...and now I feed you and make sure you have plenty of water and even have bought you toys....and this is the thanks I get!!!"
Ungrateful little skank!
And the bad part is the little boy kitty is just as affectionate as he can be. He sits in my lap, and crawls up my chest, and on the night of my birthday...as I lay there all alone...he jumped on my bed and licked my nose. It was the only time he has ever done that (I wonder how they know) but it pretty much sealed his fate as house kitty.
I'm thinking about contacting my renter and seeing about selling that little ungrateful sleaze on eBay. He's got the inside track...be sure to go check it out.
Can you sell a cat on eBay?
How am I ever going to be a real parent?
For those of you who have read my earlier post, or those who need to catch up I was invaded by a pregnant cat and now find myself raising her illegitimate children.
Okay, I've never been a cat lover and all of the sudden I have three. No big deal...I'm a cat man now. I had a ferret once, but he drank too much and ended up drinking himself to death. That was the coolest ferret, and I miss his antics, but I'd never have another one. So now all of the sudden I like MY CATS not all cats, and I'm taking care of them.
This little bastards were born in a nasty box on the third shelf of my broke down shed in the back yard. They were lucky I even found them, and even luckier that I eventually moved them in the house. I've given them shelter from all the elements, and I've kept them and their mother fed for months. I've changed litter boxes and bought toys and scratchy thingies and I can't believe I'm telling you all this.
See, I'm having a problem because the little girl cat doesn't like me anymore. She doesn't like me to hold her, talk to her, be in the same room with her...I thought that wouldn't happen until at least puberty. The little boy cat loves me! He's laying in my lap right now...purring...while asleep...but she is somewhere hiding in the darkness.
She'll come bite me when I'm sleeping...attack me when I'm not looking...but affection? None!!!
I tried to have a talk with her earlier. I picked her up and asked her "Why don't you like me anymore?" "What have I done that's so wrong?" "Haven't I always tried to give you everything you've ever needed?"
I even went as far as saying, "you're lucky you're even alive!" "I pulled you out of that nasty box...I gave you a home...a warm place to stay...and now I feed you and make sure you have plenty of water and even have bought you toys....and this is the thanks I get!!!"
Ungrateful little skank!
And the bad part is the little boy kitty is just as affectionate as he can be. He sits in my lap, and crawls up my chest, and on the night of my birthday...as I lay there all alone...he jumped on my bed and licked my nose. It was the only time he has ever done that (I wonder how they know) but it pretty much sealed his fate as house kitty.
I'm thinking about contacting my renter and seeing about selling that little ungrateful sleaze on eBay. He's got the inside track...be sure to go check it out.
Can you sell a cat on eBay?
How am I ever going to be a real parent?
posted by Michael Wren at 11:45 PM
7 Comments:
HEY!!! I am pretty sure you could sell the cat on ebay. I have seen (and listed on my blog) auctions for 10lbs of live fish and I have seen a number of other things. Maybe instead though you could sell a sponsorship of the cat. I have a few ideas on how to do this and it will get you plenty of looks auction wise (even it doesn't get you tons of bids). It's all in good fun though, ya. Anyways, let me know if you are interested and I will put something together tonight.
Do you have a digital camera?
Aww... I love that you love your new little friends... don't sell the lil girl, she may be a little bit bitchy but she'll grow on you... and plus her brother may miss her if she goes away!
yeah don't sell the kittie!!! :-(
she may just be trying to epxress her feelings, or she may be a bipolar cat! you never know. stranger things have been known to happen. (^_^)
You know your gonna keep the kitty because your too attached now :P
She is a FEMALE cat, my friend, which means she's all dark and complicated and confusing. Her job is to keep you off balance, so you'll want her to like you more.
Boys are easy. Girls...not so much. Unless they are easy, in which case you have lots of little kitties everywhere.
I loved your post, really funny.
But seriously...I am a foster mom for a local shelter in my area. The reason that you might be having a problem with her is because a). she might very well be feral. She might have learned distrust from her mother. If this is true, she may never accept you and it might be best to find a shelter that can help her find a new home. but b). She is now breeding age and she might see you as a threat. This might be another reason to find a shelter. You definately want to get the kittens altered (or you will have even more).
Now back to the non-serious...now you dont need a girlfriend...she is the alfa-female and OWNS YOU
Call Cory Crayton... He'll take care of the issue!!
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