Animal Crackers and other odd rituals

So today I wrote my sister an email asking her how she ate her animal crackers. We have many of the same little crazy quirks, so I was interested to know if she ate the head off before she devoured the rest of the cookie.

You're thinking about it...you might as well go ahead and answer...how do you eat your animal cookies?

Please leave a comment.

She gave me her response as well as the response from other people in her office. One very interesting ritual(and I do mean ritual) was disclosed. I will post all the replies later, but don't want to post them now for fear of them manipulating other people's answers.

You should think about some other things that make you pretty much crazy, and post them too.

I'll give you an example of a few of mine.

I always shave the same way...the left "outside" of my face, then the right "outside", then my upper lip, the middle part, and then my neck. Then I re-lather up, and do it the exact same way again. I've tried to do different, but I really have to sit and try to accomplish a difference. I think this might be why I hate shaving so much.

If there are two different light switches in a room that control the same light...it drives me crazy for one of them to be flipped up to turn off the light. My sister made me aware of this one.

Open doors or drawers drive me crazy!!! I can't stand to see an open door...I am constantly closing a fellow workers bottom drawer when she leaves it open...drives me nuts. I've only recently been able to sleep with an open door in my room, and that was so that Poon Tang could get in. If you haven't read any of my earlier post, you may want to catch up on that.

I eat all the skin off of fried chicken before I eat the chicken. I mean all the skin...if I buy a two piece, then I eat the skin off the two pieces before I even eat one bite of chicken...same with a three piece.

I haven't been very political the last week or so, and I won't get in too deep now...but I will tell you what Freedom is to me right now.

Freedom is the fact we can all be a little crazy, and not be ashamed to show it. We can all be a little different, and that's what makes us normal. We don't have to conform to our government's schedule. So whether you're way out left, or way out in right, You're still a fucking nut job...and that's okay! That's what Freedom means!

Music makes the world go 'round

So I got a call tonight saying that the band didn't show at my second home...I was allowed to go fill in. Made a little money and got to play songs. The only real downfall is that I've got the post-gig insomnia rocking right now. I need to sleep!!!

I've been struggling for over a week now...sleep has been few and far betwixt but I feel my self coming around.

So I had a couple of realizations tonight...one, I haven't played by myself (not with myself) in a while and I was out of practice. I've been leaning on the band to fill in the accompaniment way too much. Two, I can sing pretty good. If you'd like a listen go to www.myspace.com/thetexaswettnex

So I am in a band, and you might ask why I didn't already think that I could sing good...and the answer is I have known for a long time that I could sing good, but the confidence that I have in my voice is not always real strong.

Take my buddy Joel from the Joel Hofmann Band ( www.myspace.com/joelhofmannband ), it doesn't matter if Joel is around 5 people or 500 people...if a song comes on that he likes...he'll just start singing. I can't do that...I doubt in my mind that anyone wants to hear me. When I'm on stage it's not that hard because you know you're up there and that you're up there to sing, but to just start singing is tough. I still haven't learned to sing with my eyes open!

Tonight though, as I listened for the first time in a long time to my voice through the speakers without a whole gang of other instruments around it I thought, "man, that's really pretty" and I mean pretty in the most manly way I can think. I think back to when I first met the guys that are in my band now...I won't go into details but we were at a place where local musicians went to play. I sang and the comment that one of the guys in the band made was, "I can hear the pain in your voice". Well, you might think this a bad thing, but to me it was a compliment. Like a truly good story teller...when you can make the listener feel the character's emotion, then you are truly telling the story as it should be told.

So whoopie you're thinking..."So you think you're good now...big fucking deal" and that's about all it is. I don't know that I'll have this confidence next time I open my mouth, but tonight I sit here and think...I made beautiful music. I sang the way I am supposed to sing, and I sounded like I'm supposed to sound. I wish I knew how to type so that you could understand the sound I still hear.

I hope that I might make that sound again...but for now I go to the back porch to wind down. I think about omens, and true happiness, and what we all can do when we put our minds to it. I think about what it is that makes us do and feel the way we feel and do, and why we sometimes try so hard to do or feel a way we shouldn't feel or do. I think about how sometimes letting go is nothing more than holding on and sometimes letting go is finally holding out. Last, I think that happiness is when you get to hold on to the one thing you just can't let go of, and sometimes I think I think too much.

I'm tired...

this sleeplessness has got to go!

So, if the insomnia is not enough, last night I was continually attacked by the evil kitten mobsters Bonnie and Clyde.

Yep, they have been named. You would think that I would name them something more closely related to Poon Tang, but if you saw them in action you would know that they are a dastardly duo.

Today they are exiled to the back yard...they may stay there forever.

I actually started to put them out for short times a couple of weeks ago. I'd let them play for a while...I was scared to leave them out during the hot parts of the day, as they are still pretty young, but I was trying to get them properly acclimated.

Then it happened, I found a flea on the little girl (sometimes I call her Precious, and sometimes I call her Little Red and sometimes I call her Shit Head) There were to be no fleas in my house! I threw them all out and went and got some flea shampoo, and collars and spray for the house and treatment for the backyard.

The fun begins!!! Newsflash: Cats hate water!!!

I ran some warm water in the bathtub and got a towel ready and the shampoo set out.

I went outside and found the Clyde first (sometimes I call him Buddy, and sometimes I call him Hair Ball, and sometimes I call him, you little son-of-a-bitch I'm going to kick your ass if you don't quit doing that) he didn't wriggle and hiss and scratch too much, but man he made one of the most evil noises I've ever heard. It was painful to hear. I lathered him up and let him walk around all wet and matted up on the floor for the 4 minutes it said, and then I rinsed him off (with the painful screaming persisting on) and dried him off and sent him on his way.

Next was Bonnie, I figured she wouldn't be much more than Clyde was. He is the bigger and wilder of the two. You'd think by now that I'd have learned that it doesn't matter what the specie, a man might break your nose, but a woman will cut your throat. She came real close to clawing me a new one. I might have let my guard down a little, and she was ready to attack. I got her clean though, and the fleas have gone away.

Poon Tang...Oh I was dreading the cleansing of Tang. Don't get me wrong, I like clean Tang...but it was going to be a difficult task. I got her in there, and I think she knew what was up...Immediate motion...but with heavy persistence I finally got her wet...Pretty soon with some rubbing and some stroking...She was all lathered up!

What are y'all thinking about???

Now, I learned my lesson with the baby girl, so I was extra careful when bathing Tang. I finally decided to just turn the water on and run her back and forth through it like an old-time typewriter. That way I could keep both hands on her. She wasn't all that bad, and maybe even liked being that clean.

I could have saved all this by shaving Poon Tang.

What???

So Let's get up to where the damn kittens were attacking me last night. You see I dusted the back yard and didn't want them getting into it and getting sick, so I kept them on house arrest. They were fine at first, running around with their little collars and playing with each other. After midnight when I finally fell asleep, about two minutes after...I felt a nibbling at my toes. No, that's not a nibbling...that's like a fat boy on a pork chop..."What the hell are you doing?" as I kicked an unidentified assailant off of me. It was dark and I couldn't tell which one of the little bastards did it. I wrapped my feet up again, but its hot here and I was only in a sheet..."Fuck!" I yelled as someone else took a bit out of my ankle.

Yeah, I should have just kicked 'em out...but then I would have got of bed...Hell, I wasn't sleeping anyway.

This went on all night...running and jumping and biting and clawing and scratching and meowing

So today they are again in exile...no more toe biting...no more scratching and running around and jumping and meowing...

Oh, by the way...did I mention that I have two really cute little kittens to give away?

Damien

Talk about a crazy woman.

I don't know exactly how true this is, but I read the story below

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17188458&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=born-at-6am-on-06-06-06--his-mum-was-induced-for-6-days--he-weighs-6lbs-6oz-and-he-s-called---d-name_page.html

Now, if all this is true...this woman must not have been paying attention to the movie...Damien didn't treat his mother very well!!!

My advice...don't buy him a tricycle!!!

Kentucky Friend Chicken

Dangit...I'm ranting again.

I can't help it...there are just so many things going on in this world that just piss me off!

I think the main problem is that I put gas in my truck today...every time I put gas in the tank...I get really really agitated.

Or maybe I just need to quit reading the news!

So yesterday I read this story http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/business/article.adp?id=20060613105009990014&cid about this group who is suing KFC for frying their chicken in oil that is full of Trans Fat. I'll admit, that I don't really know a whole lot about trans fat, good fat, real fat, or any other fat. What I do know is that I can't remember anytime someone called fried chicken healthy.

It's Fried Chicken...I'ts Fried...In Oil...It's not healthy.

But we do live in a country where we can sue Marlboro because we smoke too much or sue McDonalds because their hot coffee was too hot. Criminals who hurt themselves while victimizing innocent people can sue those people and win. I think I'm going to sue blogger because I seem to be getting addicted to this whole blogging thing.

It's Fried Chicken!!! If you don't want your arteries to be full of gunk, eat a fucking salad!!!

I guess I just hate the way things are turning out. What you do is go out and screw up, and then blame someone else for it. Everyone else is to blame, and that's that. Me and a buddy of mine got drunk some years ago and hit a median and rolled a car. We should have sued Chevrolet for making a car that would roll, and the city of Dallas for putting that concrete median in the middle of Abrams avenue.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I never whine a little, but I think it's a sad world where no one will take any responsibility for their own actions.

On a brighter note, I'm really starting to love Thursday. I know that I've mentioned before that on Thursdays I like to read http://www.ocweekly.com/columns/ask-a-mexican/ask-a-mexican/25306/ because its just good stuff. It's both comical and informative. Now I've got a new Thursday read for you...for any of you that just get pissed off and want to slap someone every now and then, you should definitely read this http://janelovestarzan.com/

Well, until I get pissed again....adios

Leaning In

This is the title cut to the Texas WettNex CD. I wrote it then, and I'm writing it now. I actually was asked the words to it. My first response was that they should buy a cd and read the liner notes, but that's not very polite. There are 5 other songs that I penned on that CD, so if they want the words to them they are definitely have to buy a CD.

Leaning In

Michael Wren

For a second you stop breathing

I can see the sparkle in your eyes

Can you see the way I'm leaning?

Or how a nervous boy works up the nerve to try?

I run my fingers down your face

take one last breath...I'm on my way

I'm leaning in

My heart's beating faster

I'm going after

your heart this time

I'm on my way

no looking backwards

I'm caught up in rapture

it's all on the line

For a second the world stands still

and waits for us to open up our eyes.

Still wondering if this is real

So I think I'll give it one more try.

Your touch on my neck send chills rolling

I don't want them to go away

So I'm leaning in

My heart's beating faster

I'm going after

your heart this time

I'm on my way

no looking backwards

I'm caught up in rapture

it's all on the line

The end of the night finds us on your doorstep

I don't know if I can walk away

I'm leaning in

My heart's beating faster

I'm going after

it all this time

I'm on my way

no looking backwards

I'm caught up in rapture

it's all on the line

If you've never heard this song and you would like to then you should go here www.myspace.com/thetexaswettnex and it will be the first song that plays. So there it is...let me know what you think!

This really....

Pisses me off!!!

You should be pissed too!

I'm reading the news this morning and see this crap about the FEMA fraud http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13310790/?GT1=8211 and I wonder how this could happen (maybe not how, but why). I think about all the people who were crying for help, the ones who said that they couldn't get any assistance from the government, yet we now hear of people who paid for strippers and porn and cruises and one who even had an extended stay at a Hawaiian hotel. Then there is a Senator who is on the rampage (and good for him and them that are) and I'm quoting, "This is an assault on the American taxpayer," said Rep. Michael McCaul, R-Texas, chairman of the subcommittee that will conduct the hearing... and I agree because this is heinous.

Oh wait...assault on taxpayers....

Then I read this... http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060613193509990009&ncid=NWS00010000000001
and I wonder if this isn't much more than an attack on the taxpayer. The federal minimum wage has been $5.15 an hour since 1997 http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0774473.html, but the congressmen have given themselves a raise every year for the past seven years. It's a cost of living allowance. This is the biggest joke I've heard in a while. Because people who make minimum wage evidently don't endure raises in the cost of living. Even in 1997 the average price of gasoline for this week was $1.37 per gallon, where as now its $3.11 per gallon http://www.eia.doe.gov/emeu/international/gas1.html. That means that if you make minimum wage, and you use more than one gallon on your way to work (which means it takes you another gallon to get home) then your first hour of work does not even pay for your expenses to get to and from work. That means that the average gallon of gasoline is over 60% of your hourly wage.

I should probably learn how to put that red profanity at the top of my blog to let you know that I might curse a little.

If you guys don't feel ass-raped right now, you must not be following along. What we have here is two very similar cases...and inept system, and a bunch of villainous people who saw their opportunity to take advantage of it...and all at the cost of us...the taxpayer. If there is a hell, these people will surely know.

Other than that, I'm having a pretty good day.

Two Dollars for a Taco???

I've been sitting on this one for a while. I should have wrote it when it was fresh, but like the breakfast tacos I eat every morning...this one is a couple days old.

I don't really eat tacos every morning, but occasionally I need something to soak up the excess. So the other morning I'm walking out to the Taco Truck with two raggedy old one dollar bills. I walk up to the truck to buy something from a woman who speaks almost as little English as I speak Spanish. Luckily everything is there in plain view so I can motion to what I want. I point to two toppings and hand her my two bucks... she in turn hands me a plate with a taco and two shiny new quarters and I think, "What a deal!"

disclaimer: Although you can't tell by my dismal account balance, I do understand "paper" money and the value that is placed on the dollar. Just bear with me on this...

"What a deal!!!" I say to myself as I walk happily back into the office with my meal and my two shiny quarters. All I gave that woman was two grimy, nasty looking pieces of green paper and I got a delicious breakfast taco and two shiny new quarters. This is one hell of a trade. I can eat this taco, and I can show the shiny quarters off to all my friends. "Look, I got a Nebraska...have any of you seen the Nebraska yet?" I leave this transaction with a belly full of tortilla, beans and something that resembles brisket (have any of you seen my dog Lucky?) and the two shiny quarters, and these women drive off with two worn out pieces of paper. They can't eat that paper. If they were stranded in the mountains, those pieces of paper would provide no sustenance what so ever. Hell, they wouldn't even burn for much more than a minute. What good is paper? If it comes down to that, I've got more fuel source in the paper plate and napkins that came with the taco then they have with their dollar bills.

Oh, the all mighty dollar. The thing that makes the world go round. People strive for riches. People beg, they steal, they borrow, they kill, they lie...all for the dollar. Some people go about making money the right way. They work hours and hours of overtime. They choose to spend their hours on earth in the office rather than at home. They choose to spend long nights, weekends, after hours, early mornings...all for the dollar. All for something that can't really keep you warm...not in the most extreme condition. All for something that you can't eat, you can't drink, you can't breathe...oh, you can love it...but it will never love you back.

and I say to my buck-fifty taco, "What a deal!"

Did you heed the Omen?

The world didn't end...woo hoo! And me??? Well, I guess I'm just another year older.

That's right...the devil's spawn and I both celebrated June 6th for our coming out party. I have people ask me if I was born at 6:06, I tell them no that I was born at 7:06 but most didn't get the joke.

06-06-06 was pretty much uneventful. I wanted to go watch The Omen but it wasn't playing in town, and I was playing with the Joel Hofmann band. We had a mighty fine time at Riley's Tavern. I'm going to be sitting in with them every Tuesday in June, so if you're around the area come on by.

Speaking of evil...why is it that people think that the proper thing to do on someone's birthday is to try to get them shit-faced drunk? Not that I was complaining too much, but man I felt bad this morning! "Hey good buddy!!! I like you so much I think I'm going to buy you lots of alcohol and watch you do something stupid!"

I've lived with this whole 6/6 thing my whole life, so it doesn't bother me much anymore. Hell the last three digits of my zip code are 666. I did however get kind of interested in the significance of 666 this year. I've known about the "mark of the beast" since I watched the original omen many years ago, but this time I wanted to know why it was the mark of the beast. There is a lot of reading to do...if you want to know I found this to be very informative http://www.666man.net/666religionhistoryoverview.html I would like to research this further before I make any more comments.

If anyone needs a cat, I have a couple to send you! My three-cat household is starting to wear me out. They aren't little helpless beings anymore...nope, now they can run and frolic and play and climb and claw and scratch and shit! They are still pretty damn cute though...I don't know how to put pictures on this thing (nor do I care to take them time to find out) or I'd let you see them. The other day I couldn't find them and I didn't know what they were up to...turns out they were sleeping in an open box...I had to take a picture...no, I'm not gay! If you're not up on the story I was invaded by Poon Tang the cat who decided that she needed to have two little kittens in my shed...who then were smuggled in http://mwren.blogspot.com/2006/05/here-kitty-kitty.html. One is dark and one is light, you need one...you need one...you need both...you need all three...and the dark one is starting to try to win favor. I woke up a little disoriented about 2:30 on 666. I knew it was my birthday, but I was trying to find the time. When I figured out that I wasn't late for work and rubbed my eyes and looked around...the little bastard jumped up on my bed, licked my nose, and then curled up in a ball beside me. Errrr....I hate cuteness!

So, I have lots of things on my mind today. This is going to be another one of those random topic type posts. I've been surfing blogs at www.blogexplosion.com . There are a lot of interesting topics there...if you just go to surf member blogs and start reading you will find a lot of information. Its pretty interesting to get other peoples takes on things. The people that are just doing it to share their opinion, instead of ones on TV or Radio talk shows.

I usually find the political ones to be of the most interest, but there are also some people who are just down right intriguing, no matter what they are writing about.

There are the people who love bush, and the people that hate bush and then there are the people who actually talk about the President. You get people who keep up with their favorite sports teams, their family, and then people who just want to show the world how stupid they are and I respect all of the above. So from some of the ones I read today, here is my opinion.

A blog about stopping corporal punishment in the home:
I don't have kids so I don't know if I'm the one to have a take on this, but I was a kid (until yesterday actually) and I know people who have kids so I guess I have a take. I know that there was a lot less violence in public before we invented time out. I know that there was more respect for people before kids no longer respected their parents (yes, fear is part of respect) since they could hide behind the system. I do not think children should be beaten or abused, but I think as a parent you have the right to spank their little asses when they need it. Most folks down here in Texas have heard the phrase, "What that boy needs is an ass-whooping!" I know its been said about me a few million times, and truth be told I probably needed a few more ass-whoopings than I got. I do not think a child should be terrified of a parent, but I do believe that they have to have a fear of the consequences of their action. But what do I know?

Brangelina....Who Fucking Cares??? A lot of people evidently. I see it very sad that there is a demand for all the coverage about this couples baby...or this couple period. Why is it that we (the people) have this obsession with celebrities? Is it because we want to be like these people, is it that we might never be like these people? There are blogs dedicated to the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie relationship...That probably won't last...because celebrity relationships never do....because there not supposed to...because if they did then we (the people) wouldn't have anything to watch and talk about! and let me be guilty of this...what the hell was Brad thinking when he left Jennifer Anniston (I probably misspelled that)? Why do we follow all these people, and wonder what they had for breakfast and what they bought on Rodeo Drive? I don't care much, well when Tara Reid's boob fell out and the whole world caught it on tape, I was interested! I bet if we showed as much interest in how our neighbor was feeling today as we did about TomKat or Brangelina, than this world would be a better place.

I saw a blog from a military man (he said he was, and by God, I believe him) who had a post about the god hates fags bunch. I had an earlier post on these idiots http://mwren.blogspot.com/2006/02/whispers.html. He was much more couth than I was, and that's a big credit to him since seeing he was military then they were calling him a fag. Anyway, it showed a video on it of the jackasses being attacked by some angry funeral goers. I hate to say this (well, not really) but I wish the video would have shown one of the funeral goers getting a good hold of the church of dumbass ( www.godhatesfags.com) and giving one of my aforementioned ass-whoopings!

I think I'm starting to ramble now...and its getting close to 1 am and I need to force myself to sleep!

two last things!

one - The Dallas Mavericks are in the NBA Finals. Now let's just see if we can "Hack-a-Shaq" our way to a championship!

two- For those of you who read the Italian post, we (the WettNex www.texaswettnex.com) received an e-mail from a French radio station wanting a CD to play. Now if these two countries want to hear the Texas WettNex, why the hell don't you???

Italian?

I got some exciting news today...The Texas WettNex are being played on Italian radio!!! We were also given a good review (so I've been told)at www.lonestartime.com . I say I've only been told this, because I can't read Italian.

I'd give a free cd to someone who could translate this for me (correctly!!) They've promised me an English version, but it'll be a few days and I'm extremely impatient.

For any of you who like to review music, you should go to www.lonestarmusic.com and give the WettNex a review. Don't hold back, tell us what you really think.

sleep!

I should really be sleeping!

As I sit here and think about sleeping (that doesn't mean I'm sleepy) I can't help but wonder back a few months to the days when I was prescribed Ambien. Pretty little pill!!!

Anyway, most of you have heard the stories about Ambien and the things that people do while under its influence...I thought I might share my stories. Luckily I never drove!

So it turns out that Ambien sometimes might take a man to his most carnal cravings, the most reported is food.

I had a head shrinker (witch doctor!) prescribe me Ambien several months ago. She thought if I'd get some sleep that I'd be a more normal person. So I went and got the prescription filled, and I took my first ambien. She warned me that I shouldn't be planning to do much after taking the pill, and I thought I understood. The first night I took it was about 10:00. She told me to plan on sleeping 8 hours, so I thought this would do me well. I took the pill and went and jumped in the shower...luckily I didn't drown but did fall down in the shower and somehow made it to the bed (soaking wet) before going out completely.

"This is great!!!", I said to myself the next morning. Sleep kicks ass! But it was very short-lived. You see the pills would still knock me out, but soon I was only sleeping 3 to 4 hours and waking up feeling great. This wasn't cool! That's how little I sleep already!

Stronger Ambien...that'll do it! So then I would sleep 4 to 5 hours (that's a long nights sleep for me!) Man I miss those little pills...insta-sleep...but not enough...but I won't get enough tonight...I need a beer!

But to the Food...so the not so funny story is about the egg sandwich. One night will ambienated I must have decided that I need an egg sandwich. I love the egg sandwich. There's nothing like toasted bread, a little mayo, and some scrambled eggs to get you going. Yummy! This one particular night, my carnal desired didn't quite follow the plan. I know how to make an egg sandwich dangit. I also learned (back in my really really dirt poor days!) that you can take an egg and put it in a bowl, stir it up, and drop it in the microwave for a minute and it comes out all round and nasty looking and ready to eat (yummy!), but I prefer the old fashioned method of scrambling it in the pan. Ambien doesn't like scrambled eggs...evidently Ambien likes fried eggs (barely cooked enough to stay together...extra runny...like on the floor runny) on two pieces of untoasted bread and dripping all over the place. I ate, and then went right back to bed...I'm sure I was satisfied!

The real good Ambien story is about Spaghetti. I'll tell you now that I love tomatoes and everything tomato. That means tomato sauce! I used to eat half tomatoes and ranch dressing as a snack when I was younger. Most of my friend ate bananas or twinkies or ding dongs (yeah, I just wanted to say ding dong) but I ate raw tomatoes. Love 'em! So one night under the influence (Ambien, not alcohol) I decided that I wanted spaghetti. I started off with some ragu or prego or some kind of sauce. So I start browning meat to put into the mix (I'm asleep...just wanted to make sure you understood this) I mix it all in, but somehow get confused as to my cravings..."What else do I want?"...."What else can go in there?"..."Corn!!!"...ewwww! but that's right...Corn is what I put in it...and I ate it...and I must've liked it because I ate a bunch. Not like whole kernel corn, but freaking cream corn! yuck.

By the way, this is all being done under the watchful eyes of people who call themselves my friends! I'm glad they like to be entertained by my Ambienage!
So I sit here now....at 1:45 and think that I wish I had some Ambien...2 - 7 would work out great.

Have you guys visited http://www.tossmmusic.com/ yet and requested a Texas WettNex song? You should do that! And buy a CD too!!!

Oh yeah, I've got another blog coming soon...so check back in a day or two...it's going to be a long one!